Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Bedtime Stretching

My heart is stretching tonight.

I say it is stretching because heartbreak tends to denote negativity and that isn't the case.

Tonight my baby girl is sleeping in another room for the first time. I was sure to amply prepare the room before I nursed her to sleep. The sound machine that lulled her sister as an infant and toddler is across the room and waves are crashing. She is comforted by the gentle "shuuush" offered by her father during the nights spent in our room so our best guess at comfort was the waves. The night light left by NanaPop for their visits is illuminating the room from afar. Her blanket and mini-pillow pet given to her by Nana were waiting beside the cosleeper. The music box is steps away. The video monitor is strategically placed and aligned atop the bookshelf. Overkill? Is there any doubt?

I nursed my sweet girl and carried her down the dark hallway and placed her in the cosleeper. She rolled to her left side just as she always does. I stepped quietly out the door and retreated to our room. At the other end of the house.

My heart is stretching tonight.

Stretching with pride that my baby has 3 teeth, can stand, can speak several words, and finally enjoys big girl baths. Stretching because in less than two months she will be a year old. Stretching because she is gaining independence and showing her mounting individuality and personality daily. Stretching because I love her more. Stretching to make room for the firsts to come. Stretching because even though tonight my heart hurts I know it won't break.

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